Empty by K.M. Walton

 ⭐️⭐️

Synopsis:

Adele’s father has walked out their family for another woman. Her mother is addicted to prescription drugs, which means its up to Adele to look after her baby sister Meggie. The shock her father’s absence leaves her feeling empty; so empty that she turns to food to fill the void. Being 70 pounds over her normal weight has caused a rift between her and her friends and effected her performance as a player on her softball team. 

When her self deprecation fails and jokes become more cruel, Adele loses control and begins to crack under pressure. 

*WARNING* 

I just want to start off by advising anyone who is struggling with their weight and suicidal thoughts, NOT to read this book.  

My Review:

The beginning of this book was slightly misleading. Adele had this fantasy about Criss Angel and David Blaine (which didn’t last long at all) because they were able to make things disappear. She wished she could make things disappear and even mentioned making people in her life disappear. Naturally, I thought that later in the book something of the sort would happen. But, it didn’t. This book was as mundane as it gets. 

All Adele talked about was being fat. It’s what she thought about nonstop. Even the internal dialogue and the moments away from her bashing classmates was engulfed in fat. The narration even harped on her feasting. Every time she ate something, it was over-emphasized. It was like Walton was trying to make eating an art. She tried to have this whole profound approach to it and was just overkill. For example: 

“Each spoonful fills my mouth with sweet crunch and cold milk. I shut my eyes and concentrate on the brittle chomping sound my chewing makes…… My tongue moves everything where it needs to go, and I swallow and lick my lips. Over and over again….. The spoon continues on its magical path from my bowl to my mouth.” 

Adele couldn’t see anything in herself but her fat. She couldn’t play softball because she was too fat, she didn’t want to try out for the talent show because she was too fat and even when she got the chance to sing for her talent show she was scared that no one would want to see the fat girl sing. She was afraid to ask for a job because she thought she’d be rejected for being too fat. Her attempt to diet was a sad failure. 

We didn’t get to know the real Adele underneath all the fat. Her fat became her identity. The only thing Walton gave her was a good singing voice as if that is the only redeemable quality for being fat. Which I suppose may be the point, but even throughout struggle their are slivers of hope and a reflection of the person that you are behind the pain, but I didn’t get to see that. There was no resolve at the end. No confrontation with her bullies or heart to heart with her best friend who she felt wasn’t a good enough friend to her from the beginning because she wasn’t skinny like her. 

Not to mention the dialogue was dry, boring and cliché. The jokes her bullies came up were more like 3rd grade humor instead of the appropriate humor for their age. They would ambush her in the school hall and chant for her to moo like a cow, which she would comply with because she believes making people laugh about her weight will give her some type of control over how they view her. Instead of just being the fat girl, she will aim to be the funny fat girl. 

This book lives up to its title. Empty.